Date My Mother

One of the more original virtual come-ons I’ve gotten.

We’ve all seen them. Those annoying emails that say things like, “Hi. I’m a pretty Russian girl new to the area and bored tonight.” This is usually followed by, “Don’t contact me thru the email above, send it to…” and they post another email.

Or perhaps you’ve had the pleasure of getting a MySpace message from someone who is upset that, “Tom won’t let me post my hot pictures here. So go to…” and they post some other porn site address.

Well, what I got the other day really takes the cake. It was a message from a girl to my MySpace account. She was anxious to fix me up. She called me Peaches. And … well … read for yourself:

Hiya peaches!

My mother is single and wants to go for a date. She likes you – nice profile – and would like to get to know you. Would you want to have fun??? You won’t regret it! She is physically appealing. I’m sure she’ll be your type, but don’t trust me. Ask her for pics. I showed her how to scan then send them. Moreover, I can tell you that she is slim and of average height. Her idea of a good time is very varied, but a first date she’d take pleasure in would be uncomplicated. An Indian restaurant, conversation over a nice cup of coffee, maybe a movie or dancing at a club. I’ve done my part, now it’s up to you. She’s a wonderful catch, and hope you’ll want to have some fun. By the way, don’t reply directly to this message, I don’t want to be a messenger. Instead, please send your reply at her Email address [redacted].


This was the photo on the profile.

I don’t know if this is supposed to be the girl or the mom. The account it comes from has all the bells and whistles of any other crappy profile except for one thing. She has no friends! Zero! You’d think someone with a lonely, hot MILF for a mom would be very popular. Go figure.

But what a thoughtful daughter. To think so highly of her mother that she would teach her to scan and send photos. And, what a wonderful mother to let her daughter whore her out. Family values are indeed alive and well in America.

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One Response to “Date My Mother”

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