Tell Them How You Really Feel

Don’t try this with your career


DISCLAIMER: This of course is a joke. I love all of my clients dearly and would never dream of having such thoughts about any of them. OK, now that I’ve secured my income potential for 2007…

These are excerpts from an email conversation between me and my good friend Lisa. I’m currently re-designing the website for her music school (Valdez Performing Arts Center) in Hackensack, NJ. I had sent her a sample of the new site design.

She had a perfectly normal response to the sample. A few suggestions about color and layout and such. I was in a silly mood and thought it would be funny for her to sorta see my ‘thought bubble’ in the beginning of my reply, pretending she was a bad client. This was followed by the email that the client would have ultimately seen.


My reply to her suggestions:

Date: Tue, 9 Jan 2007
Subject: Re: School Site

God some clients are such nags. Nag nag nag … what a friggin’ pain in the ass.

Dear Ms. Valdez,
Here are the changes to your site. I’ve tried a two-tone gray to add a little depth to the page. I also changed the rollover text color to white. Let me know what you think.

Sincerely,
Stephen Bailey


Never one to stay away from a good laugh, Lisa replied with:

Date: Tue, 9 Jan 2007
Subject: Re: School Site

Jesus, some designers are such divas! They think every design they come up with is the best ever. UGH! And they are soooooooooo sensitive. You can’t tell them you don’t like something or make other suggestions.

Dear Mr. Bailey,

I do like the new design. I will look at it in closer detail later on tonight, but I feel this might be very close to complete.

Thank you,
Lisa Valdez
Executive Director
Valdez Performing Arts Center


And of course I just had to say:

Date: Tue, 9 Jan 2007
Subject: Re: School Site

SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

Dear Ms. Valdez,
Very well then. We can discuss this later this evening. Please have your people call my people.

Regards,
Stephen Bailey


Now remember kids … don’t try this with your career.


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