Oh Christmas Tree

Why I avoid Rockefeller Center each year. Flashing, climbing up and up. My head dizzy with trying to focus. Stop! I’m not supposed to like this.

The other day, my sister, her husband, their son, my mother, my girlfriend and I pushed, shoved and tripped thru the holiday chaos that is Rockefeller Center. I can see the appeal of this place to others.

Bright lights and roasted chestnuts. Holiday music and chill in the air. Christmas in NYC is legendary. Songs have been written about it. Movies have been made. And yet, it holds no appeal to me. It never has.

Once I get past the concept of it all, the reality of harried rudeness always sets in. On this night that we went, I actually saw a man using his child as a battering ram to push his way thru the doors of St. Patrick’s Cathedral.

I tried my best to soak in the beauty of things. My own philosophies aside, when all decked out in it’s holiday regalia, this city can be quite lovely. But it will always be a surface admiration for me. There is nothing sacred beyond the veneer.

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And don’t get me started on the tree itself. I’ve never truly understood the need to cut down a healthy tree for the sole purpose of decoration. Not to mention NBC and Rockefeller Center’s so-called commitment to the ‘green’ initiative. It’s all so contradictory. Still, the lights are pretty.

Flashing and climbing up and up until my head is dizzy with trying to focus in on the top. Stop it! I’m not supposed to like this. This is wrong. Wait! I know. It’s for my art. I may look like just another in the throngs of tourists, but my camera points to the art. Yeah, that’s it. That will clear my soul in the end.

Plus, I got to spend a nice evening with my family. My little cynic remained quiet and I was able to find the fun in the mess. I guess that’s what this time of year is all about — for me anyway. And maybe, if I find a way to mute that cynic more often, I can once again enjoy the day to day of this city as well.

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