Please tell me this scale is broken!
There comes a time in everyone’s life when they realize the need for living healthier. Sometimes the catalyst is drastic like a heart attack. Other times it’s a series of little things that lead to the revelation. Over the last year or so, the aching in my bones and the ever decreasing energy in my muscles has not been enough to get me moving. That changed this past week.
Last Saturday night I was hanging out with my friend Helen, her brother and his girlfriend. We were just having a chill night of some wine, couple of beers, kimchi, stir fry and Korean barbecue. At one point—as happens when drinking beer—I needed to use the bathroom. On the floor was a scale. I had not weighted myself in a couple of years so I was curious. 205!! What the hell?!?! 205!!! No way! The number loomed in my head for the rest of the night and I kept wishing the scale was broken.
A couple of nights later, Helen and I went to see the band ‘One Hand Loves The Other’ at the Annex in NYC. Ever since getting back home from my visit to North Carolina, I took on that evilest of habits in full stride once again; smoking. This night was no different as I spent a good portion of the night outside with the other smokers. The band was kind enough to drop me off at a PATH station to catch a late train home. When I got to Hoboken, the bus I needed to take broke down. I took this as a sign to walk.
So off I went figuring the exercise would be good for me. Of course like an idiot, I lit up a couple of smokes along the way. Now my breathing was shallow, my chest was pounding and the cold sweat was running off of me like a waterfall. I was only a few blocks from home, but it felt like miles. At exactly 2:00 AM, I crushed the last of my cigarettes and tossed them in a random garbage can. Once I got to my house, oh don’t even ask about trying to get up the stairs. Finally inside my apartment, I doused myself with cold water—inside and out—and went to sleep.
Last night was the final straw for me. I met my friends Madeline and Luis for drinks after work. I had a few hours to kill before heading downtown to take pictures of a band called Mad Happy. Mike and Rivka of Mad Happy were in Hoboken the other night and I told them I’d come by their show. They live in Florida so they don’t get to NYC very often anymore. Anyway, after a few beers, it was time to head out. Madeline and Luis headed home and I went looking for a little food. This is where everything went sour.
I smelled McDonalds. Oh that wonderful odor pulls you in on a cloud of yummy anticipation. I do my best to resist that kind of junk food now and rarely ever eat it anymore. I know how bad it is, but what would it hurt to give in to my craving now? Apparently … a lot! Not five minutes after finishing my two cheeseburger combo with fries and a Coke, I was doubled over in pain. Not just my stomach, but my chest and my head. Here comes that cold sweat again. There was no way I’d be able to go to a club now. I wasn’t even sure I would make it home.
I admit to having felt the adverse effects of junk food in the past. Maybe several hours later or even the next day. And yes there is that guilt I feel after I down that last bite. But never has the pain of my craving come to haunt so quickly and effectively. This scared me. It seemed like the universe was conspiring to get me to clean up my act once and for all. A couple of weeks ago in North Carolina, I could hardly have a beer without suffering a massive headache. And no, I’m not complaining. In fact, I’m kinda happy.
I’ve never been a well-disciplined person. But as these run-ins with my body’s revenge tactics come closer together and more intense, maybe I can finally to get into shape. With the help of my vanity. There’s no way I could be 205 with most of it in my gut! I refuse to let this happen. But on a more serious note, smoking has got to stop once and for all. I’ve already cut down considerably on my drinking. Although I will always enjoy a nice pint of Guinness now and again. And as much as possible, I try to eat right and go for long, brisk walks.
So, it’s on now! IT’S ON!! The time is here to put all of my attempts at healthier living into one basket and make something of it all. I know I’ve said that before, but the older I get, the less I can afford to keep falling off the wagon. Still, check back with me in a few weeks or so. That’s usually how long it takes before I go screaming back into the comforting arms of toxic debauchery.
