To insure I stay on the high road, I need to threaten myself
There’s only one day left to my Detox Count Up and in order to make sure I keep my life in a carefully balanced state of moderation, I’m giving myself an ultimatum. If I so much as take a single puff from a cigarette, I will be forced into another 28 days without booze. I’ve had several reasons for taking this respite such as poor eating habits, lack of physical fitness, unwise personal and professionals decisions and so on, but the biggest one was smoking.
I can do fine if there is no alcohol around. I know, people have said, “What’s the big deal if you have one or two when you’re out?” Well, the big deal for me is that those one or two smokes inevitably lead to me buying a pack the next day and smoking morning, noon and night. The addiction for me is so great that all it takes is a single trigger. The irony being that I rarely even enjoy smoking anymore. Just a few puffs into a pack and my chest tightens up and pain shoots thru me. But I’m overwhelmed by the need to smoke.
The bad eating habits and lack of exercise may be heightened by drinking, but it is certainly not the root cause. Although I haven’t yet started a regular workout routine, the food choices I make are getting more under control over time. It’s something I’ve been working on for about a year and a half now. But the one thing that constantly creeps in to negate any progress I make, no matter how small, is the dreaded tobacco.
So, ultimatum in place … tomorrow night will be my time to face the world of booze again. Not to worry though because I’ve been to more parties and events over the last four weeks that I was at all year. And my drinking water or soda or whatever in no way diminished the fun. Yes, in a way I was worried that hanging out while other people drank would make me uncomfortable and irritable. But it hasn’t because my friends are the best and good times happen no matter what. So, if need be, I can just put the drink down.
Still I do plan to have a couple of nice pints of Guinness tomorrow. I’m not too proud to say I’ve missed it.
