Zero Tolerance 2008

Hoboken tries again this year to curb disorderly conduct

I know this is not a popular stance to take, but I am thankful for Hoboken’s Zero Tolerance on Parade Day (March 1, 2008). For those who don’t know, the first Saturday in March is the official kickoff of the St. Patrick’s season in the NYC area. It’s a day of celebration in Hoboken and all too often an over abundance of drunken idiots who have no clue how to handle their booze or act in public.

Last year, the city implemented this Zero Tolerance policy in an effort to curb as much of the disorderly conduct as possible. No one really expected anything to happen because, let’s face it, the cops hadn’t really assumed control on this day for many years. But as residents started to grow tired of the anything-goes party attitude of the day, cops started handing out tickets. Thousand dollar tickets to boot. Brilliant. Maybe this will keep you from puking on my stoop.

It all started last year with a misguided proposal to delay the opening of any business serving alcohol until after the parade had ended. The problem with the proposition was that it would be a blanket punishment that effected delis and liquor stores as well as bars and restaurants. However, the real problem is and always has been the house parties that get outta control or the jackasses who spill out into the streets way later in the night.

So after a vote at city hall, a compromise was agreed upon that would target the true offenders and not the businesses that support Hoboken. This meant the meatheads who feel the need to strut their testosterone by randomly beating the crap outta each other. This meant the girls whose green party dresses are stained with multiple spills and are now outside yelling at their dates for this or that. This meant the assholes who feels the need to piss, puke (or sometimes worse) on the sidewalk because they can’t handle themselves in public.

So be prepared people. Open containers, lewd actions and disorderly conduct will not be tolerated by the cops. Hence the term ‘Zero Tolerance’ (duh). And these are not measly $50 or $100 fines that they’re handing out. We’re talking $1000 per offense and the possibility of spending the night in jail. Is it excessive? Yes. But sometimes excessiveness is what it takes to teach drunk children a lesson.

Yes, I love to party and being drunk in and of itself is thankfully not a crime or I’d be a hardened felon. It’s how you handle it that defines the severity of the offense. So I applaud the city of Hoboken for trying to keep things from spiraling into an anarchic state. Honestly, anarchy ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.

As I said last year when this program began; Eat, drink and behave yourselves. This is my town. Thanks for visiting. Please leave it the way you found it.

Slainte!

See Also:
Hoboken’s Parade Day Compromise (2007)