A few days ago I found myself in a state of singleness again. Without going into too much personal detail, my relationship with a wonderfully talented, beautiful girl came to a sudden end. I will only say that I got the, “It’s not you, it’s me,” routine (in a nutshell). This prompted me to ponder one of the very many things I don’t understand about women. Keep in mind that what I’m writing about here is not directed at any one relationship. It’s more of a search for answers since this kind of thing seems to happen to me all the time.
Most, if not all, of my single girl friends will say that all they want is to meet a nice guy. Someone that can make them laugh, respect them and treat them well. And yet while single and dating, almost without exception, they tend to choose the exact opposite. When they do stumble upon that ideal guy, they let it go out of some fear that it cannot possibly be the right thing. After all, all guys are jerks so this nice guy must have something wrong with him.
I’ve been advised by both girl and guy friends that I need to work on being a jerk. At least when I’m out meeting people. Then, over time let the nice guy come out. Unfortunately this is not in my nature. I was brought up to be polite, courteous and respectful. Yes it is frustrating to hear girls say things to me like, “God, I wish I could find a guy just like you Stephen,” because I am a guy just like me. And this latest turn of events got me to thinking about a possible deeper reason for my poor luck.
I began to question karma’s role in this. Was there something I did in a past life that I am now being punished for? Or perhaps the Gods have a different plan for me in this life. If the latter is the case, then please fellas, let me know what it is. My dear friend Lisa, who is somewhat of an expert in the area of karmic energy, has agreed to help me in this quest. Not being one who particularly gives in to spiritual explanations for life’s quirks, my first step was to look back on my life and seek out a common thread. Not an easy thing to do considering the outcome of most of my relationships.
In no particular order, girls have left me for abusive men, convicts, alcoholics, womanizers … the list goes on to even include men they were not at all attracted to and other women. The only common thread I could find was perhaps bad timing. At least I assumed that was the problem considering how I’d always get the, “Oh I wish he was more like you,” and “you deserve better than me,” speeches while they told me the inevitability of their leaving. As if me being the better man would somehow be enough to fill the void of being alone.
Despite being bummed about my perpetual singleness, at least I felt that maybe now I had a grasp on why. But then something happened the other day that really poured gasoline on the karmic fire suggesting the fault lay beyond a simple case of bad timing. You see, I decided to give online dating a shot. Many people told me I should and several friends have found success there. So I signed up to several of the major dating sites. I filled in my profile and my desired match.
Then I waited for the results. Right off the bat, I could see there was a problem. Now, not to piss anyone off, but let’s face it, we all have a ‘type’ of person we want to meet. So I entered several key factors into my profile such as nationality (Caucasian, Asian), body type (slim, fit, average), social tendencies (drinks, doesn’t smoke), future goal (does not want kids), etc. For myself I put in my real age (no point in lying) and my salary range among other things. What I got back included several larger black women looking for men who were ten years younger than me making twice my salary.
I thought either I did something wrong or these women were all very untruthful, which is why I tried this on several sites. Still there was no escaping the complete inaccuracy of the results. Why bother putting in all of those details about myself when it seems that they are not even considered in the process? Why didn’t my friends have this same problem? Were the gods toying with my fate once again? Had the karmic energy of the universe really turned into a comic energy directed squarely at me?
Being a curious person, this is now something I’d like to pursue further despite my overall disbelief in the supernatural. But I could be on to something here. Or perhaps it’s a delusion designed by the gremlins in my head to ease the ache of being single. Either way I’m not getting any results otherwise so why not look deeper. This quest may involve a pilgrimage to some sacred land, or just more trips to the local bars. I just hope I don’t continue to slip on those karmic banana peels placed in my path.
